Wait. What? PETA names Russsell Brand and Kristen Wiig “sexiest vegetarians”

Kristen Wiig

Someone missed the boat on this one. I mean this almost seems satirical.

Now I don’t know much about the vegetarian lifestyle –  but there has to be someone better looking than Russell fucking Brand out there. The dude is death warmed over. Who no doubt stinks like rotten chicken.

And the chic, I hate to say, is not much better. Wiig is supposedly 37. Yet looks closer to 57. Not ugly at all. But definitely weathered beyond her years.

If this is the best PETA can come up with, what does it really say about the vegetarian lifestyle? It’s almost as if this PR was hijacked by the meat industry in order to scare you away from vegetables. Sort of like those meth photos.

To me it says eat steak – rare.

Update: Okay. I’m officially suspicious. This seems like a prank. Even Brand’s comments are a bit suspect.

“You shouldn’t eat animals, it’s mean to them,” said Brand.

Or is he that fucking stupid?

Fake cheese is the key to a perfect cheese hot dog!

Okay. I have it down pat now. I was really getting concerned there the past few days that my tastes buds may have shit the bed or something. Because for some reason I was screwing up a fucking cheese dog.

I mean hadn’t had one in like 30 years or so. I think the last time I had one was at the Orange Julius in the Peabody, Mass Mall – way back in the early 80s. So it wasn’t like I was a one-time expert or anything. But it’s a friggin’ cheese dog. How hard can it be?

First I tried the Land O Lakes American deli cheese; then Cracker Barrel cheddar; even mozzarella. Nothing! They all tasted just okay.

Then this afternoon I used the fake shit – the stuff in a plastic wrap. It was even the store brand, not the upscale Kraft Singles crap. Real low qual.

But man is it good melted with a hot dog. The stuff sticks to the roof of your mouth. Good fucking shit. Try it!